Wade, Cora Maisie
D.O.B: 18/05/1984
AGE: 28
GENDER: F
STREET ADDRESS: 3550 Fairbanks Avenue
TOWN/CITY: Dayton
STATE: Ohio
HEIGHT: 5'4
WEIGHT: 120
ETHNICITY: Caucasian
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None.
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Medical History
Do you have any ongoing medical issues for which you require treatment or medication?:No, nothing.
Are you aware of any allergies? If so, please list allergy, age of onset and any medications or treatments you require or recieve:None.
Have you had any surgeries or invasive procedures in the past? If yes, please list reason and approximate age of procedure:Nothing.
Do you take any medications or supplements daily? Do you follow any treatment plans? Please list medications or treatments, and reasons below:I have regular therapy but that's all. Apparently they want me to boot the alcohol before giving me something else to get addicted to.
Do you use tobacco, consume alcohol, or use any other drugs including street drugs and/or prescription medications not prescribed to you? If yes, please list number of packs a day, number of drinks a day, and/or drugs consumed below:I drink alcohol. Normally around 20 units a day. I also smoke, around 10 cigarettes a day. I've been cutting that down already. I used to smoke 20+. I started to drink when I was 15 shortly after my mom died, and I started smoking after Jackie gave me a cigarette one day when I was about 19.
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Psychiatric Screening
Please describe, to the best of your ability, your emotional and mental state of wellbeing:I wouldn't say I'm that bad. It's just at night, that's all. During the day is fine, just as long as I have my cigarettes and alcohol. They stop the worrying. They make me sleep. Sometimes.
If I can sleep (which is rare) then I'll be in a really good mood the next day. I hardly smoke, I don't even really need the drink. But then that night I won't sleep, and the whole thing just starts all over again. It drives me insane. I don't drink because I enjoy it any more, I drink because if I don't I won't sleep. And I'll only end up in a horrible mood the next day. I can't concentrate and I snap at people. But if I have the drink, I have a hangover and still can't concentrate.
Have you been diagnosed with any psychiatric or psychological ailments? Please list any diagnoses below, and the treatments or medications prescribed to you. Please include name of medications, dosage, and number of doses per day:I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's something that I really worry about. What if it develops into something worse? What if it ends up being the start of something that's still underlying? Man, I need a cigarette already. I thought this application wasn't meant to be too in depth? Maybe I'm filling it in wrong? Am I adding too much information? Oh, man, I hope not! I hate filling in paperwork. I never fill them in right, or I don't give enough information! It gets me all uptight and anxious! I wish my therapist could've helped me! Why did she have to go on vacation?
Oh, the question, yes, back to the question. I've also been told that I am a substance abuser because of my alcohol drinking and my smoking. I don't see it as a problem because it stops me worrying and helps me to sleep though! I worry so much about not sleeping. It makes everything so much harder. I get exhausted from not sleeping for days, yet I still have energy and still can't sleep. They diagnosed me with having insomnia because it had been so long since I slept properly for more than one night at a time. But they said it was because of the alcohol. I only ever sleep when I drink! I don't understand it!
Have you ever been hospitalised or referred to regular outpatient care due to these ailments or associated incidents? If so, please note where, and at roughly what age:I've had regular therapy. This has been since I was about 22 years old, so for the last 5 years, really. I prefer having one therapist and not having to change, but this isn't always possible. I hate having to start all over again with someone new though.
I was also admitted to my local hospital's sleep lab for a few weeks so that they could see if anything was causing my insomnia. The only thing they could put it down to though was the alcohol. I don't want to stop drinking, so they've sent me here, to rehabilitate, to keep me away from the alcohol and to try and cure the insomnia and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I was 26 when this happened.
I've also had the occasional trip to the Emergency Room to help when I hyperventilated (which has happened several times since I was 18 years old), and the odd stomach pump when I drank too much. The first time I was 22, shortly before my brother, Jackie, convinced my to go to therapy for it, and it has happened a few times since. It's not an experience I would recommend to anyone. Again, these were at my local hospital.
It wasn't until dad died from alcohol poisoning that I really started to take the therapy seriously though. That happened when I was 23.
How have these ailments affected you and your life? Are there any major life instances you feel have been directly affected by these ailments, such as suicide attempts, criminal activities, etc?:I can't hold down a job because I don't sleep. I can't concentrate, either. So I'm not much use in a work environment. I tend to hyperventilate and get feelings of nausea over completing work. I get dizzy and have difficulties breathing, to the point where I have had to go to hospital a few times.
I find it difficult to socialise because I have such erratic sleep patterns, being wide awake when others are sleeping and then eventually crashing out in the middle of the afternoon when I should be out meeting friends. I worry that people who are my friends actually don't like me, or that they will hate me for not turning up when we arranged to meet because I fell asleep. The only way I can deal with these feelings is by drinking, and smoking, and this results in more worry when I wake up from alcohol induced sleep because I probably missed something else.
What is your social life like? Do you have many friends or relationships? How are your family relationships?:I have a few friends, but most people don't like me because I often can't keep to the promises I tell people I will keep to. I fall asleep, or get too drunk to attend go and see them and forget I was supposed to go out. I don't have a partner either, given that nobody would want to be with an alcoholic insomniac with an anxiety disorder, would they? I don't want to be alone. I want... Friends. I want someone to love me for who I am. But that's not going to happen while I'm like this. I would worry about everything about them, about the entire relationship.
Do you believe your life circumstances have contributed to any ailments? If so, what circumstances, and why do you feel they have contributed?:If I hadn't started drinking when I was 15 years old when my mom died, I doubt I would've had any of these other problems. But when she died, I started to worry about my dad more and more because he was also drinking. I started to become more preoccupied with each passing day about every tiny detail. I used to worry about even the smallest of things, and the more I drank, the worse this got. By the time I was about 22, my brother had had enough of it and it was him that took me to see a therapist about it.
If you could change one past event that has happened to you, what would it be, and why?:I would want my mom to have lived, because I think she would've helped me to get through this a lot better than my dad did. I love him, of course, but I was always closer to my mom. My brother was always there for me as well, and I'll always be grateful to him for that, but... I just needed my mom, and she wasn't there. She couldn't be there.
Do you wish to rehabilitate from your ailment(s)? If so, how do you feel this would best be accomplished?:I want to be able to sleep again, and I want to stop worrying about everything. I want to be normal, that's all. I don't mind having the occasional drink, that's fine. But I think I need to cut it down. I have no problem with my smoking though; I am quite happy to continue smoking 10 cigarettes per day.
I don't know how to conquer the insomnia. Apparently there are tablets that can help to treat it. If they are available at Hallowsgate, I wouldn't mind trying those. The same could be said about the Generalised Anxiety Disorder; I think tablets to calm the nerves could help. I'd like to continue with therapy though because talking about it all helps a lot. I never thought it would help, but it really does.
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Environmental History
Where did you grow up? Please list the location(s) and describe what it was like growing up there:I was born to a fairly poor family in Dayton, Ohio. My dad was a store worker and my mom was a cleaner at the local school. I have an older brother and an older sister. I also have a younger brother. We were all fairly close, but I was always closest to my oldest brother, Jackie.
I've lived in Dayton all my life. It's a nice place to live. There's things to do in Dayton, yet I live far enough outside the centre to get some peace and quiet in the evenings, to be honest. Not that it matters. I don't sleep anyway, so the quiet doesn't matter.
I went to junior school and high school in Dayton. I've had a few jobs here, just as receptionists or as a fast food worker, but they became too much and I've since been unable to find work.
What was your family life like? Did you spend much time with your parents? Do you have any siblings? If so, what are your relationships like?:My life was pretty good until my mom died when I was 15 years old. I got on really well with her and it was hard when she died. Me and my dad never got on to the point that we would go out together to the park or anything like that, but we'd sit and chat, or he would help me with my homework. When he started drinking though, we all grew apart from him somewhat.
I have an older sister and two brothers, one older and one younger. I was always closer to Jackie, my older brother, because we're so close in age. Just a year between us. My little brother, Eddie, I was never quite as close to. He's three years younger and was usually with dad all the time, so I suppose as I wasn't so close to him that was just natural. And my big sister, Miri, and I get on okay. We fight sometimes, about things like my drinking mostly. She never did like that I took to drinking. I think we'd get on more if I didn't drink.
Jackie and I are still really close though. He's more than just a brother, he's like my best friend too. He comes to see me a few times a week, and we sometimes even go to a local restaurant together. It's nice being able to see him. I'm going to really miss him while I'm here.
What was school like? Did you have any problems? Did you enjoy school? What were your grades like?:Things were fine at school until my Sophomore year when my mom died. It was then that things started to go bad. I started drinking the alcohol that dad brought home from the store he worked in. My grades went down hill from there, really. The more I got into the drinking, the more my attendance went down and the worse my grades became as a result. I was lucky to pass anything, to be honest.
Jackie, being a year older, managed to help me out a lot. If anyone ever teased me he was always there to help me out. He was also there to help me with homework as well. It really helped. If he hadn't been there, I don't know where I would be.
Did you engage in any extracurricular activities, such as academic, artistic, or sporting clubs?:Not unless drinking counts as an extracurricular activity, I'm afraid. Originally, in Freshman year, I was in the reading club. But that was as far as it ever went.
What was work like? Did you have any problems? Did you enjoy your work? What were your coworker relationships like?:Every time I've ever tried to work, something went wrong. I just couldn't cope. It was so hard to find a job in the first place, and then I just screwed it up. You wouldn't believe how much that upset me. And it drove me to the drink even more, I suppose. Which only made the worrying worse and then I couldn't sleep at night, which lead to not turning up for work, or interviews, and then more drinking.
I got on alright with my co-workers, I just... I just couldn't do the work. I had real difficulties with concentrating. They even noticed that after just a day or two.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime or misdemeanour? If yes, please explain, list conviction, and list any sentences associated with convictions:None, other than under aged drinking, but I wasn't ever arrested for it or anything. I always just did it at home, so nobody really knew.
Lastly, please tell us about yourself. How do you feel about yourself and what you have done with your life? If you have committed crimes, how do you feel about those now? What are your hopes for the future?:I feel... Sad? I just want to live a normal life. I don't want to have to spend my whole life unemployed with a screwed up sleeping pattern, feeling useless. I don't want to have to depend on alcohol. But the less alcohol I have the more I worry and the more alcohol I end up needing. The only time I sleep is if I pass out from drinking; I'd like that to stop too. But it's driving me crazy. I'm so irritable most of the time that I snap at people for no reason. It's not that I mean to do it, and it loses me friends just as much as the drinking and insomnia. But it worries me. What if nobody wants to be friends with me anymore? What if I lose the last few people I still have? I couldn't take that...
In the future, I want to have loads of friends, a job, be in a relationship... I just want to do the things normal people can do. Is that too much to ask?
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Out of Character Section
What are they not telling us? What secrets do they have to hide? What back story are we not hearing? This is where you can tell us all the things your character wouldn't put on an application, or others don't know.: Her anxiety was always there to some degree, but while her mother was alive she could control it better. Her father hit her (and the rest of her siblings) on a regular basis from a young age and she learned that she had to do everything correctly the first time or be punished. When her mother died, the only protection she had from her father was gone. While he didn't continue hurting them all as much once he started drinking (he generally just isolated himself instead), Cora felt abandoned and learned to rely heavily on Jackie instead.
Cora is now nearly entirely dependant on Jackie. He doesn't mind, but he would like her to have her own life now. They spend so much time together normally, and even if they don't see each other every day, they call each other. Or at least text. They will always be close, but he wants her to feel better and move on from the past now that their father has died as well.
Your Nickname: Ellee
Your Chatango Screen Name: Iamellee
Your Character's Playby: Nora Zehetner